


Tiny

by LemonClementine



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Community: cottoncandy_bingo, Forced Crossdressing, Gen, Sexual Humor, Shrinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 03:13:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1371778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonClementine/pseuds/LemonClementine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor overhears some conversations among the staff of the palace and comes up with a great idea to get back at Loki for all those times his younger brother had caused him problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tiny

The first time Thor heard of the strange potion-maker that lived on the edge of the city, he'd been sneaking down to the kitchens for a late-night snack. He certainly wasn't doing anything untoward. If anything, the maids he caught gossiping were the ones doing untoward things.  
  
“No, really, it's true! Eyildr on the edge of town mixed this up for me- she said if I drink it in a glass of vinegar it will increase the size of my bosom. My husband will be so happy if it works. I really hope it does, it cost me the better part of this month's pay.”  
  
“You really spent all of that money on a little vial of liquid? If I was your husband I'd be furious that you wasted your pay! You were cheated, Ingrid!”  
  
“No, no, I've heard of this Eyildr too- my neighbor says that a potion from her cured her infertility- she had triplets and she's pregnant again.”  
  
“Well, let's see if it works then! Go on, drink up!”  
  
“What!? I'm not drinking it for your benefit!”  
  
“Go on, we're all women here, there's nothing for you to worry about. Besides, if it actually works the way you say it's supposed to then we'll notice it anyway. Truthfully I just want to see what happens when you chug vinegar.”  
  
“You're terrible, Hedwig!”  
  
“Come on, you know it would be hilarious!”  
  
“Perhaps. But it's still terrible!”  
  
Thor knew he should move on, move out of the way, not listen to a conversation clearly not intended for his ears. He had no business eavesdropping. But this was interesting. While most Aesir had at least a small amount of magic, permanently making changes to one's body was beyond the abilities of most. Minor, temporary cosmetic changes or shape-shifting were possible, if uncommon, but a potion to permanently change a physical aspect of oneself? Thor doubted that even Loki could do that- at least, to himself. Someone else, affecting their physical appearance permanently would be a piece of cake, but Loki had once told Thor that changing one's own body was much more difficult.  
  
There was a clinking sound, and loud, raucous laughter from one of the maids. “Go on then, drink a month's pay all mixed up with vinegar! Let's see what happens. Then I can say that I told you so!”  
  
“You're not going to be able to! I look forward to seeing your reaction when you find out you were wrong and I was right!”  
  
“Stop arguing and get on with it! The rest of us want to see, too!”  
  
Thor heard the popping sound of a stopper being pulled out of a vial, and the sound of liquid splashing down into a different liquid. Peeking through the gap in the doorframe, he saw the maid in question toss back the concoction. She stood there for a few moments, with the other maids gaping at her. Finally, one smirked.  
  
“I can say it now: I told y-” she never finished the sentence, as the first maid's blouse seemingly exploded as her chest swelled to four times its normal size. The maid shrieked, covering her now-exposed breasts with her arms while the others laughed uproariously.  
  
“I take back everything I said. I'm sorry I doubted you! Now you have such glorious bosoms you'll no longer need to work as a maid! Your husband will give you everything you ask for! And so will all of his friends!”  
  
“Shut up, Hedwig! Help me find a cloth or something, I can't go around like this!”  
  
Thor snickered and returned back to his rooms, snack forgotten. Those maids were ridiculous. But an idea had planted itself in his mind- if this potions-maker could make aspects of a person's body grow, what else could she do?  
  


* * *

  
  
Several days later, as he was packing up after a training session with Hogun, Thor overheard another conversation regarding the strange potioneer. Some of the more junior warriors were clustered around one of their friends, snickering at something he’d said.   
  
“So you guys know my brother Agni right?”   
  
“You mean your brother who’s married to that really flat-chested maid- what’s her name again? Inga, right?”   
  
“Ingrid, and shaddup, she’s not flat-chested anymore! Not since she took some weird medicine from that old lady on the edge of the city. She had to get all new corsets and had to let out all of her dress tops and tunics. Whatever it was worked so well that Agni told me all about it, and Ingrid told Gudrun that Eyildr could make a potion to increase _anything_ to any size, if you know what I mean…”   
  
“Oh no, don’t tell me…”   
  
“Oh yeah. I bought one. Gudrun thought it would be a good idea.”   
  
“ _Snerk_ , yeah, _Gudrun_ thought it would be a good idea. Does she know you went to Eyildr, or is she going to be surprised and horrified next time she gets your trousers off?”   
  
“Oh ha ha, very funny. We went together, if you must know. And I got this!” The man drew a small object out of his pocket and showed it around. A bottle full of bright green fluid glinted unnaturally in the sunlight. “I thought I’d take it after today’s workout- Eyildr said it would be more effective after exercising.”   
  
“That’s only what she told you so you wouldn’t be disappointed when it didn’t work. Everyone knows magic is most effective when you just sit still and let it affect you.”   
  
“Then why does battle magic work then, idiot?”   
  
“Oh shut up, that’s a different kind of magic. You oughta know that, you’ve fought in Prince Loki’s company.”   
  
“You know as well as anyone that Prince Loki is crazy, his magic probably works differently from everyone else’s.”   
  
“Ah, shut up and take the potion already, I want to see if it works as well as Hedwig said Ingrid’s did.”   
  
“You want to see it that bad? What, you hoping he’ll give it a go with you or something?”   
  
“What-?! No! I just want to see if it works! If it works on Heinrekr’s tiny cock then it will work on anything. My niece was talking about wanting a giant cat to ride around like a horse.”   
  
“You’d have to talk to Eyildr about that. I, uh, don’t think that potion would work on a cat the way you want it to.”   
  
“Obviously.”   
  
The man, Heinrekr, unstopped the vial and tossed it back. He stood there for a few moments, just as the woman had, and just like the woman’s friends had, his friends started laughing. “I told you it wasn’t going to wor-“ he was cut off suddenly as Heinrekr doubled over in pain, grunting.   
  
“Oh god, he’s been poisoned!”   
  
“No, no… I’m fine. Just… ugh, get out of the way. I need to get the trousers off.”   
  
“You need to get your trousers off- oh good lord.” There was a ripping sound, followed by cackling.   
  
“Would you look at that! It worked so well he busted right through his trousers!”   
  
Thor laughed quietly, trying not to draw attention to himself. If they realized he was there they might be unwilling to continue their conversation. Now that the potion had shown that it worked, he was interested to see what they would say next. Were there any drawbacks to the potion? Was it painful? Did it do anything else?   
  
But the men didn’t say anything else about the potion other than some more teasing about penis size.   
  
An idea began to form in Thor’s mind. If this Eyildr could make a potion to _increase_ a woman’s bosom and the size of the male organ, perhaps she could create a potion to _reduce_ the size of things. Perhaps even entire living creatures. That had many potential uses0 if one could somehow slip a shrinking potion into the water supply of the bilgesnipe during mating season it could potentially solve some serious problems, like the annual stampede the creatures caused. A herd of five-inch tall bilgesnipe would cause much less damage than a herd of the creatures at their usual size. How useful that would be!   
  
And then an even better idea occurred to Thor. An even better, positively _sneaky_ idea. If this Eyildr could make a potion to shrink the entirety of a creature, then she could certain whip up one to shrink a troublesome person. A troublesome person like _Loki_.   
  


* * *

  
  
A few well-placed inquiries later, Thor stood outside a ramshackle house on the edge of the city, laundry drying on a line outside. A fluffy white cat meowed plaintively as Thor walked up to the door.   
  
“What is it, Snowball? Is it Bausi again? I thought I told him it wouldn’t be ready for another three days!” A rather rotund, motherly woman on the older side of middle-aged shuffled up to the door, her eyes widening when she saw who was there. “Oh! My Prince-“   
  
“Please, madam, that’s not necessary,” Thor said quickly. “I’m here to ask you a question about your, ah, products.”   
  
Instantly, Eyildr was on her guard. “What do you mean, my Prince?”   
  
“Potions made by you have been very popular around the palace recently, and I was wondering if something similar would be possible. Those potions increased various parts of the body of the one who took it. Is there such a thing as a potion that would do the opposite?”   
  
Eyildr looked at him strangely. “My Prince… if this is for the behalf of a maiden, maybe you should wait for one who can, ah, appreciate what bountiful gifts you have to offer.”   
  
Thor flushed, unused to someone saying something like that so bluntly, to his face. “That’s no, not it at all.”   
  
“Are you asking for something to trim your waistline, perhaps? Your friend the Lady Sif came in for one a month ago. Volstagg bought one several months ago.”   
  
“Sif and Volstagg bought potions to lose weight?” Thor asked blankly. Then he shook his head. “No, that’s closer, but not quite what I was thinking. What about a potion that would shrink all of a person? To maybe this size?” He held his thumb and forefinger about four inches apart.   
  
Eyildr pursed her lips. “Such a thing would indeed be possible, but it would be _extremely_ difficult, and frankly, I do not see the point to it. What would be the use of making someone the size of a mouse?”   
  
“Not permanently, of course. Temporarily- for a few hours at most. To help transport a prisoner, for example. Then once the time was up they would return to their original size.”   
  
“Ah,” Eyildr nodded. “Yes, that would be doable. Although I must caution you- there must be more efficient ways of transporting a prisoner.”   
“It’s more of a psychological tactic,” Thor replied. “It works by making the prisoner more off-balance and less likely to try escape. And if they try it while under the effect of the potion, they wouldn’t be able to get very far and would be easier to catch.”   
  
The older woman shrugged. “I will have to take your word for that, my Prince. I know very little in regards to the ways of war. But I can certainly make a potion to do what you require. It will take longer, however- I do not believe you would be able to get your prisoner to willingly drink the potion. I will need to figure out a way for you to dose them with it.”   
  
Thor hadn’t even thought about that. He had assumed that the prisoner- _Loki_ \- would drink the potion by Thor slipping it into the water supply, or by tricking him into thinking it was something else. “What do you mean?”   
  
“You cannot expect your prisoner to willingly drink a strange liquid, do you?”   
  
“I thought I would just put it in the water,” Thor said uncertainly. Eyildr cackled.   
  
“My Prince, the potion would be brightest pink! Adding it to the water would dye the liquid- it would make it clear that you were trying something! And if you have captured someone do you think they will just be willing to drink some strange fluid you offered them? They would think you were trying to poison them!”   
  
Well, when she put it that way… it did make sense. Loki would never willingly accept it. Not because he would think that his brother was up to something, but because Thor suspected it would be physically painful for his brother to accept any proffered kindness. And he _really_ did want to see what would happen when Loki was shrunk. “Very well. How much for the potion, and when can I come and retrieve it?”   
  
Eyildr tapped her chin thoughtfully. “For you, my Prince… no charge.” Then, she continued: “return in a week. I will have your potion ready by then.”   
  


* * *

  
  
Exactly a week later, Thor stealthily crept up to Eyildr’s cottage. This time, there was no laundry drying in the sun, but the fluffy white cat was exactly where it had been the last time. It meowed aggressively as Thor made his way towards the door. He fought the irrational urge to yell at the creature, to scare it off, lest it alert anyone of his presence here. A few moments later, Eyildr stepped out of the house, gently carrying an oval-shaped container.   
  
“Here is your order, my Prince,” she said. “Please take it carefully, the outside is very fragile. The idea is that you throw it at your target. The shell will break apart on contact and engulf you’re the target in the potion. If it breaks prematurely, whoever is closest to the blast area would be caught in the potion’s spread and would shrink.”   
  
“I understand,” Thor said.   
  
Eyildr continued on: “the effects of this potion are temporary- depending on the size of the size of the target the time varies- a larger, heavier individual will be affected for less time. However, the potion should give you four hours at a minimum, more likely six for an average sized target.”   
  
“Thank you,” Thor said. “I’ll keep that in mind. What happens if the shell does not break when I throw it?”   
  
The older lady grinned. “Oh, do not worry about that. The shell _will_ break.”   
  
Thor and Eyildr took a few more moments to finish up their transaction, then Thor gently wrapped the potion in his cloak and left, again taking care to make sure he wasn’t seen by anyone.   
  


* * *

  
  
Every cell in his body was screaming for Thor to go and find his brother and dose him with the potion, but he restrained himself. There were several things he had to take of first before he was ready to make the “plunge.”   
  
It took him another two days to find what he needed- Thor had to make several inquiries to find what he was looking for. Fortunately, these supplies were much less suspicious than a shrinking potion. Tiny furniture, and clothes fit for a child’s doll… if anyone asked, Thor would say they were a special gift for the young daughter of one of the palace cooks. There were so many palace cooks that no one would bother to follow up on that, and Thor was already well-known for giving presents to servants he liked.   
  
Finally, everything was ready. The tiny furniture was arranged in a manner reminiscent of the bedchambers of a highborn lady, and there were a number of frilly, fancy outfits for both men and women, collected from various realms, only shrunk down to fit a doll. Or a very small person.   
  
Finding Loki wasn’t particularly difficult either- he rarely ever left his chambers anymore. Thor stood outside of Loki’s doors for a while, trying to make a decision on the best way to deliver the payload. Finally, he decided to just barge right on in. Flinging open the door, Thor stomped in with a loud “HEY LOKI!”   
  
“Thor- wha?!” Loki didn’t have time to react before Thor threw… something at him. Whatever it was exploded the moment it hit him, and Loki felt the telltale ticklish feeling of foreign magic affecting his body. There was a twitchy feeling in his limbs, and suddenly… everything seemed much larger than normal. Thor towered over him, his booming laugh making the room shake, or so it felt like to Loki.   
  
“It actually worked!” Thor roared gleefully. Or rather, Thor said gleefully in a normal voice, but it _sounded_ like roaring to Loki. “I almost thought it wouldn’t! It really, actually worked!”   
  
“ _WHAT_ worked?!” Loki tried to demand, but his voice came out squeaky and rather high-pitched. The now five-inch-tall man’s eyes widened in horror at the sound of his own voice. “Thor, what did you do to me?”   
  
“Not to worry, Loki,” Thor boomed jovially. “It will wear off in several hours. Until then we can have some fun!”   
  
“What do you mean by fun?” Loki squawked in alarm as Thor picked him up by the back of his tunic. “Put me _down_ , you oversized buffoon! Take your hands off of me!”   
  
“Now, don’t be like that, brother,” Thor cajoled. “Think of all the fun we can have with you like this!”   
  
Loki’s eyes went even wider, if that was possible. Just what was Thor suggesting? Surely he couldn’t mean what it sounded like… could he?   
  
“Come along, brother- the potion won’t last all day!” Thor ignored Loki’s struggles and carried his protesting younger brother, ignoring his impassioned pleas to put him down right this instant.   
  


* * *

  
  
“I truly hate you, Thor,” Loki groused as Thor finished trying the ribbons in his hair. “If all you wanted to do was play dress-up, couldn’t you have gotten, oh, I don’t know, a _doll_? Or if you absolutely had to dress up something alive, couldn’t have you found a woman to help you?”   
  
“Nonsense!” Thor exclaimed. “Look at how pretty you are!”   
  
Loki glanced at the specialized small mirror Thor had provided and grimaced. The buffoon had somehow managed to located a ridiculous-looking frilly pink dress, a truly impractical thing with layers upon layers of lace. Loki supposed it had been modeled on a Midgardian woman’s fashion because he couldn’t imagine any Aesir woman wearing such a foolish outfit. Well, maybe Lorelai or her sister. But no one else. And I the garment wasn’t bad enough, he’d also been forced into a pair of equally lacy white socks and matching white shoes. Thor had also somehow acquired a lace parasol, but he couldn’t force Loki to carry it. As it was, Loki sat grumpily on the miniature couch and scowled at Thor.   
  
“Don’t be like that, brother!” Thor said. “You look wonderful!”   
  
“No, I look idiotic,” Loki groused.   
  
“Well, if you don’t like that one, I have more!”   
  
“YOU WHAT?!”   
  
“Yes,” Thor grinned, grabbing a bundle of cloth from beside the furniture. “Why don’t we try this one next?” He held up a new outfit.   
  
_At least this one has trousers,_ Loki thought to himself, eyeing the silky pale green material with distaste.   
  
As the next hours passed, Loki found himself dressed up in increasingly ridiculous and impractical outfits. At one point he’d tried to escape into the small chiffarobe provided to add ambience, but Thor had just picked up the item and shaken it until Loki had fallen out. All of this miniature furniture provided no place to hide, and Loki wasn’t sure if he would survive the drop if he tried to jump off of the normal-sized table.   
  
Ah well. At least the tiny couch was comfortable…   
  
“Loki! Try this one next!”   
  
Or maybe not.   
  
/END

**Author's Note:**

> Argh. This was originally going to be slash with microphilia, but then I got halfway through it and got too lazy to write it. And I thought this ended up being funnier anyway. Thanks for reading!


End file.
